Managing emotions and feelings is probably the most important skill you can learn as a leader.
This is very true generally – and even more so during these challenging times.
Here are 3 ways transformational leaders effectively manage their feelings:
Pic: Colton Duke, unsplash.com
1) They listen to their feelings
They don´t run away from them, or try eat or drink them away. They sit with them and listen to them. They understand that feelings comes with information and the best way to manage the feeling is first to listen to this information
2) They ask: Is this mine?
A lot of what we feel is not ours. We pick up feelings from our company, colleagues and peers, our family, our neigbourhood, community, country and even the world.
As much as the feeling comes with information and it is important to listen to that,
it is equally important to realise that a lot of what you feel is actually not yours at all, but things that you sense or pick up from others.
By asking yourself ´Is this mine?´ you will soon realise that a lot of what you feel is not yours.
And the more your realise and accept this, the better you can manage your feelings
3) They choose not to carry other people
We often hear from clients: ´Because I care for them I need to feel what they feel right? And help them carry some of their burden?´
Is that really true?
To an extent it might be. But if you do this too much it can easily be paralysing and numbing to you.
And what happens then? You can not really be the friend you want to be to your colleagues or your loved ones. And then everyone loses.
When we carry other people, we subconsciously give the message to them that we think they can deal with their problems themselves. And that is in essence disempowering.
It takes away their process of learning and healing. And it diverts us from our own path of growth and learning. In other words, another lose lose.
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Test these 3 steps out for yourself and you will soon realise what a difference they make to you managing your feelings as a leader.
